Just What I Needed

I've been a little angry recently, I have to admit. Why? Because I love the United States. I know that we, as a people, institution, culture, and system of government, have major issues, and we have made grave mistakes and continue to make them to this day. I will admit this to anyone, at any time, in any context.

But I am NOT defined by my citizenship. Just like I am not defined by my race, gender, sexual orientation, height, cereal preference (Honey Bunches of Oats) or what color socks I wear. So when some douchebag in my politics class, who worships our lecturer as if he's the Second Coming, says, "Ha, that's a very American thing to say" when I neutrally express critical opinions on our lecturers style of teaching, I tell him "Excuse you. That was extremely rude." Because just because I roll my eyes at the prof's "I am too good to teach this sort of bullshit, it's all just the dept. subverting my alternative and beautiful mind, I shit gold nuggets" attitude does NOT mean that I am some sort of elitist, capitalist, hegemonic red-eyed demon that our lecturer has painted my entire home country to be. And, as I pointed out in class, there is a distinction between the American people and the institution of America, and to impose that upon me based on next to nothing would have been to tantamount to accusing that greasy long-haired, bad-goateed, obnoxious-voiced fan-gasming boy that he's a racist Boer because he is a white South African. When I expressed that, although our Prof's viewpoint is valid and important, I wished that he presented multiple points of view, including the mainstream, he replied, "Oh, you must be the type to vote for George Bush or Mitt Romney." with a dumb sneer. You could practically smell the rotten, acrid aroma of his misplace derision dripping from his tone. I wanted to punch him in the face. Instead, I told him that he was extremely offensive, off-base, and I would no longer be speaking to him because he proven to be immature and uneducated. Then he spent the next five minutes stammering out the most lame, insincere apology ever, which I graciously accepted then told him to piss off.

The problem is, he's not the only one. There's a fairly high level of dislike for Americans here, and I cannot blame them. After all, the US had supported the apartheid government. However, people, even academics, have stated their outdated stereotypes as if they're fact. As in, not up for debate. As in, "Oh, you're American. You are responsible for Bush being president. You kill orphans in Vietnam with your capitalist hegemony over the world. You support nuclear annihilation of the rainforest. You must be educated. Anything you think or do is based off of your padded life of privilege and therefore couldn't possibly be emancipatory in nature. Obviously, you're going to burn in hell. Have a nice day."

The worst part is, after enough people tell you this, it gets to you. I've been wondering if I really have a leg to stand on to defend myself, my country, in a court of classroom or discussion. But then, by random happenstance, I found an odd file that I had saved on my computer back in my high school senior year. It was a lengthy IM argument I had with a classmate and friend at the time about the US superiority complex.

Other
and you know, we could uplift the world if other countries didn't keep sending us cheap shit and trying wreck our economy. The thing about that destructive power is everything rises and falls with us. so if people try to bring us down, they inadvertently bring themselves down as well
Janni
hey, if we had the resources, we would sell people cheap stuff too. dont be so quick to look down your nose
Other
you mean if our government sanctioned paying people $5 a week and living in shantytowns outside Mumbai. unfortunately, we believe that we have the right to the Pursuit of Happiness, which right now requires much more than a dollar a day
Janni
the issue isn't the rest of the world, its the HUMANITY. You cannot blame the rest of the world for characteristics that EVERYONE has within themselves, more or less
Janni
I love this country. I love that one can say what they want without fear here. But I also recognize that we make mistakes too, and we, just like the rest of the world, are just people
Other
indeed. and toyotas are "just cars." funny how they all seem to crash now. some things are better than others
Janni
that's SO not the same thing at all
Other
it is. With every thing, living or not, there's the bell curve.
Janni
so because a person is from China or France or South Africa they're "not as good" as Americans?

Whoa. I mentioned South Africa? That jarred me a little. As I read through the ridiculously long text, I ran into a lot of the ideas that I have developed over the past few years. It wasn't my liberal arts education that led me to believe in the equal importance of all humans, a need for humility, the interconnectedness beyond nations, and a re-evaluation of global priorities. I didn't need a pretentious professor to tell me to think outside my home country, or to think about the less fortunate as equal, to respect their struggles. I admit, some of the things I said in the conversation were off-base and inaccurate, but the basic core of my ideology hasn't changed, and for that I am proud. And I won't let these pseudo-intellectuals tell me that just because I am privileged, my opinions are moot and irrelevant. My well-founded, non-oppressive ideas are Made in the USA. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

So screw you, you misguided myopic creep. Keep your false idol. Worship your lecturer/god. Tell me that I'm a "typical American" one more time. I dare you. You're only going to prove your own ignorance.

Still in Narnia

Here is a brief lowdown of my life since I last checked in

1. I still don't have WiFi/ethernet internet access on campus. This means that my access is limited to: the hours that various coffee shops are open during the day (because it's not really safe for me to travel alone after dark) and whenever I can make it to/find an available space in the computer lab. So that means the Skyping is essentially out of the picture because during the day here, it's in the middle of the night Stateside, and I can't Skype on the computer lab PCs. Please be patient, lovelies, I'm going to call the mail delivery service tomorrow to see if I can track down that damn cord.

2. My life is essentially made now because last weekend, the IntlStuds went to Addo Elephant Park, and I saw my first wild elephant. I mean, they are essentially domesticated at the rate of tourism, but still, it was amazing. The weather left something to be desired, but the animals didn't seem to mind, so I didn't either.  We also saw lions, kudu, zebras, monkeys, eagles… Next Goal: touch an elephant. Here are a couple pictures from our adventure:

Look at the tiny baby elephant underneath! Tinashe: oh my goodness, that's so beautiful

Speaking of Tinashe, here's our adorable Zimbabwean now. He and I snuggled for warmth in the backseat of the van.

I can't remember what kind of animal this is

An ostrich just hanging out by it's eggs. They were just lying there, to the side.

Kudu. Very Tasty.

Warthogs are damn ugly things, aren't they?

More elephants!!!

We hada lion sighting! Apparently that doesn't happen very often.

Some lovely zebras

We had two different vans, and I was in one with 4 other boys, so Katie decided to come up with a song for me "Janni, Janni, Janni and the boys" sung to the tune of "Benny and the Jets." Unfortunately, it has stuck. That, and "Janni is a Mom" (same tune) because I was the one who brought a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread to feed everyone in case they got hungry. Needless to say, they did. I now am out of bread. And Katie still sings the songs once in a while. Joy.

3. Classes are ploughing along, and I think I'm going to actually start trying. We'll see. There's a little bit of hopelessness involved because apparently the grading system is so harsh here that a 70% is just unheard of. I'm planning on failing all of my classes. I've accepted it already. It's very healthy.

4. Coming up:
Tomorrow (Thursday) a group of us are going to go hiking at Hogsback, a couple hours outside of Grahamstown. It's going to be freaking cold, so hopefully I won't fall deathly ill.

Fun Fact: Some people claim that JRR Tolkein (who was born in Bloemfontein, SA) got his inspiration for Mirkwood from the mountains at Hogsback. They are wrong. Tolkein had left SA as a very small child, never to return. There is, however, a small kid's camp called Hobbiton at Hogsback, named so after the books became popular.

Also, next weekend is the notorious TriVar (pc: Intervarsity). It's a weekend long extravaganza during which four universities (it used to be three, hence the Tri) of the Eastern Cape get together to compete in various sports. But, the real fun starts at the after-parties, where everyone just goes batshit crazy and parties until dawn and past. You wear these white jumpsuits the entire time that you paint with your school colors (ours is purple) that you are never. allowed. to. wash. Apparently, you would wash away the memories with it. Hope my backpack will have room for it in the end :).

Culture Shock

I would be lying if I said that South Africa, specifically Rhodes University, has been some sort of alien experience, living in a mud shack with a couple of chickens, a generator, and a machete. But there have been some differences that I've noticed that I am still getting used to…

1. Look right, then left, then right again

Fun Fact: the South Africans drive on the left side of the road. Must be a former British colony thing.

After three weeks, I still need to look like some sort of bobble head when crossing the street, looking left before remembering that the traffic comes from the other side of the street and whether or not the SA drivers will stop for pedestrians is hit or miss, no pun intended. I've only gotten honked at once though, and considering my usual record of basic air-headedness when it comes to traffic, I consider that an accomplishment. What's more of the problem is that this orientation also applies to walking traffic, so I've been involved in quite a few awkward staircase impasse dances.

2. Regulations. What?

This is Rhodes Res. specific but one of the weirdest things to adjust to so far. Coming from a university whose policy is "just don't be effing idiots" and sort of chalks up everything else to basic young "adult" debauchery, it's weird to be in a place that requires all visitors, male or female, to be signed in and out, and requires all male visitors to leave by the obnoxiously early time of 23h00; they can only return after 8h30 the next morning. However, male dorms allow any kind of visitor at any hour. This is paired by a condom dispenser, almost always full, in every single bathroom, Res. entrance, and random public place. Okay, so they recognize that students have sex, but they just don't want hetero couples to do so in female dorms. Someone made a really good point: do the hall adult admins (they are actually called Wardens. Appropos) feel safer having a girl go spend a night in a dorm full of guys or have one guy come to spend the night in a girl's? Additionally, if I do not sign out if I'm going to be gone past 3h00 or for the weekend, I could get in serious trouble. I mean, I understand that they are accountable for student safety, but our fingerprints already required to open the door, is it really necessary to lock the laundry room at night? House meetings are much more tense than I remember our Kaneko Council meetings, even when handling the drama with the vandalism last year. I guess I'll just have to learn to adjust. But you know how I am with rules I find unnecessary…

3. Party Hearty

Once more, a Rhodes specific observation: People party crazy here. Going out is a whole-hog affair. People seemed to be a little sceptical of the group of us who went out for a quiet drink on Monday at the Rat, as going to pub usually indicates getting schwastey-faced. They also seem to like dancing here, and as opposed to the clubs in the States, which are essentially excuses for people to troll for some ass, a lot of Rhodes students, including the men, are satisfied with dancing in their own groups, bro-loving it up. Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty of hooking up and making out of the dance floor, but significantly less grinding and more basic swaying.

4. Unnecessary Touching. Come on, dude, really?

Okay, in their defense, it's never overtly sexual or inappropriate. It's just… unnecessary. For example:
Tuesday, I was sitting in my History class next to some guy whose name I only might know based off a name I saw embroidered on a sweater (Chris? Maybe?). I was just pretty excited that someone, anyone had thought I looked normal enough to sit next to, for I knew(read:know) not a single soul in that class. He had sat next to me a couple times already, and we had established a tentative rapport, joking about our lecturer and the fact that I'm a poor clueless exchange student in a class that's way out of her skill level, and he had what I'm finding to be the typical SA sarcastic wit. He made a joke at my expense, laughed, and then reached down to pat me on the leg. What the what? Man, I do not even know your name for suresies. I mean, he did it in a completely platonic, slightly condescending way, but it was still a little unexpected. However, I'm starting to get used to the shoulder pats, arm rubs, and the hands rested on my back as random strangers squeeze by me in the pub. Let's be real, my personal bubble is more like a semipermeable plasma membrane, and my delicate sensitivities aren't really offended; the touching just seems overly intimate. Also, I'm not the only person who's noticed this, so it's not just people get the urge to touch the random Asian girl to see if she's real. On that note…

5. The even MORE token Asian

I have always joked about being the random Asian girl in a group of Caucasians. Growing up in the Redneck side of Washington (and proud of it!), I got pretty used to not really seeing another yellow-skinned comrade; I was actually expecting a few more Chinese people here, based on the stats I read on SA and the bunches of them I saw in the JoBurg Airport. But, I was dumb and didn't really think of the stats for Eastern Cape, the province I am living in, and Grahamstown, which is predominantly black and white. As such, I am one of the less than 20 East Asian students on campus that I've seen. My fellow IntlStuds have taken to reporting to me the Asians they see as well, I think sort of to convince me that I am not alone, but so far, the number has been barely double digits.

People stare. I mean, the open and brazen, slow down while walking, not even try to avoid eye contact type of staring. At me. Walking in town, sitting in the library, ordering a drink at the bar, passing in class, "working" at the comp lab… I mean, I have magenta (well, now kindof red) hair, and I'm not the best dressed, but I've checked with the others and they've noticed as well, and every time they promise me that I do not have something on my face and I'm not indecently exposing myself. Plus, I've seen weirder hair and crapper fashion sense around. I can't think of any other immediately noticeable feature that would explain this staring phenomenon that seems to be following me around. As someone who is not particularly of the "Yeah, I'm hot shit" school of thought, I'm not really used to the staring. Maybe I've got a doppleganger somewhere that's been partying like a wild woman, and people are just staring in shock at what appears to be the same woman walking around, functioning, as opposed to passed out due to alcohol poisoning. Also, I have now been THRICE randomly approached by strangers with their arms outstretched for a hug, one of which was sober (unless he was drunk at 13h00 in the middle of the student union building), who sort of laugh and walk on when I dunk out of the way or back away quizzically. I need to ask the others to see if they've encountered this as well, or if I can chalk this up to "They like Janni here." I just asked Chili, my neighbor, if this kind of stuff happens to her, and she just said that it must be my aura. I mean, it can't be because I'm Asian, right? We aren't that exotic…right? Guys? Anybody? Bueller?

6. On a more serious note, the legacy of Apartheid

I wouldn't dream of claiming any sort of ability to sympathize with my fellow students whom are actually faced with the task of actively reshaping an entire nation's thinking, but these are just my humble observations. Every time I make a slightly off-center joke about being racist, usually referring to myself and Asians, people have said, usually jokingly, "Right, because it's such a good idea to make a racist joke in SA." I understand that this was an ugly part of their nation's history, but it seems like people are /very/ afraid of being perceived as racist. It's a battle, external and internal, to balance recognition of certain trends and conceptions against using them to relegate a people to a certain status. But shouldn't we be able to make mistakes, develop openly under an environment that encourages those who may have more learning, or rather unlearning, to do to present their views in a productive discourse in order to enable them to understand the flaws of such thinking? In all of my classes, the topic of racism affecting political theory, a nation's history, the economy is constant and overarching. Everything is put into terms of race, looked through this context, as it should be, considering the proximity of the end of apartheid policies. I have to admit, I may have some more unlearning to do myself, but as we have been discussing in our contemporary theory class, does putting so much stress on the racial aspect of issues perpetuate the particularity of certain races? In more plain terms, does talking about everything in terms of race and how it affects a situation continue to isolate certain races as different, widening the gap between groups of people? Alas, I am definitely not suited to answer such a question. I am also curious to continue to see what SA post-Apartheid is really like. I have noticed on campus that predominately, white people hang out in groups and black people hang out in groups as well. However, there is mutual interaction between many individuals, regardless of race, so I led to believe that this is due to the preference for people of similar cultures to spend time together, esp. if they share a language. I mean, Asian students on campuses in the States frequently form close-knit groups, and this isn't perceived as a problem, so perhaps this isn't either. As I start volunteering the community, it'll be interesting to see how people are adapting to the hindering, both socially and economically, policies of the apartheid gov.

Apart from these random things and the general fratty nature of the men here (although thankfully, I have met a few non-bemulleted guys. I'll let you know if I ever meet a non-jock who is not some sort of shut-in. They really dig sports here), I've been adjusting to life here pretty well. Now that I've gotten settled in, I've had a little more time to think about the things I normally think/worry about, so there's been a lot on my mind, on top of classwork. But, do not get me wrong, I am having the most amazing experience here. I'm learning to appreciate the people and things I've had in my life that I've taken for granted as well as the smaller little differences that make life here beautiful.